10. Radiohead -The King of Limbs

 This album almost didnt make it here, mostly because of how long it took me to really enjoy it. It doesnt listen or feel anything like In Rainbows, or really any other Radiohead album of the past. The rhythm section really shines on this album, and since my interest in playing drums has been sparked again, this album is a great one to try and play along with.

9.Fleet Foxes -Helplessness Blues

 I’m not too big of a folk-rock fan, but this album hooked me in an unexplainable way. The vocal harmonies are really what did it for me, this album sounds straight out of the era when The Eagles were the kings of music.

8.Eisley -The Valley

 This is the first Eisley album i really ever gave a chance too, and im really glad i did. The girls songwriting has improved and matured over the years, and this really is their best effort yet. not to mention the beautiful guitar work by Chauntelle.

7. Underoath -Ø (Disambiguation)

 straying away from my indie influence on this one, Disambiguation is an album i kept coming back to in 2011 when i was tired of the electronic and indie pop albums of the year, and just wanted something i could scream along with. and there is plenty of screaming on this one.

6. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross -The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo Soundtrack

 Just a beautiful soundscape that is becoming the classic Trent Reznor instrumental sound that first started with the Ghosts album from Nine Inch Nails. Capped on each end by some great songs, the first a cover of Led Zeppelin’s  Immigrant Song featuring Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s and finishing with a new song from Mr. Reznor’s other project How To Destroy Angels.

5. The Naked and Famous -Passive Me, Agressive You

 this album was a sleeper, and only won me over in the last few weeks of December. But its a beautiful record full of songs that are fun to dance to, but also full of some very raw and real emotions. its just good. Thanks to Madison DuPree for turning me onto this album

Favorite Track -Punching In A Dream

4. M83 -Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming

 This monster of an album took me by surprise, mostly because i had no idea who M83 was, or what musical style i was getting myself into. From the intro track featuring Zola Jesus, to the instant dance-hit Midnight City, this album was the soundtrack to the end of my summer and the beginning of fall.

Favorite Track -Midnight City

3. MuteMath -Odd Soul

 I was very nervous about this album, mostly because MuteMath’s sophomore album-Armistice- was a bit of a let down. From the first listen i was hooked, and at the end of the album i declared, alone in my car at 430 in the morning, ‘this is in my top 5 albums of the year’ and so here it is. The Funk and Soul and quirkyness i loved about their debut self-titled album is back, in a new and fresh way that is simply…MuteMath.

Favorite Track -Prytania

2. Blink 182 -Neighborhoods

 i can see you all shaking your heads in disappointment, and i dont care. This album is all that has been missing in my life for a long time, and it made me remember why i love punk music so much. Blink is back, with a vengence, and are masterfully merging the three disticnt sounds that are Tom DeLonge, Travis Barker and Mark Hoppus.

Favorite Track -Up All Night

1. Coldplay -Mylo Xyloto

 What do I need to say? Coldplay have reinvented themselves yet again, and made an album that is fun to listen to and even more fun to sing along with. I really cant pick a favorite track, i love this whole album.

ive been reading some reflections from the aforementioned Mr. Crowder on his bands album A Collision. lots of things he has said have stuck me, but this was the greatest.

There’s a darkness in my skin
My cover’s wearing thin, I believe
I’d love to start again, go back to innocent
And never leave

Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We could be found
There’s nothing wrong with me
It’s just that I believe things could get better
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I think it’s just enough to believe

Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming
Rescue is coming

And there’s nothing wrong with you
And nothing left to do
But believe something bigger
And there’s nothing wrong with love
I know it’s just enough to believe

Don’t give up now
A break in the clouds
We will be found
Rescue is coming now

May 2011 saw the end of my college carreer (for now) which is something i am ok with. it also brought the challenge of moving to the west coast by August (a goal that has been postponed until January 2012.

July 2011 saw the end of me living ‘real life’ with my girlfriend and friends in MI and the return to Chicago-land, and living with my parents.

September saw the beginning of me working two Jobs, full time and saving all of the money i can to be able to move out west.

October saw the end of some friendships along with my social life. it also saw the beginning of me being a drummer in a Band for the first time in 5 years.

November is really just beginning, but the end of all this stirving and working and not sleeping is fast approaching, and a new start, the beginning of the best thing to happen to me in a long time is equally fast approaching.

The end is the beginning is the end is thebeginingistheendisthebeginning…

So being asked to write the score to three films in the last 8 months is a big deal for me, but i might be getting the hang of it, but MIGHT is the keyword there.

I have yet to write a score for a full length feature film, but hopefully someday i will. to date I’ve written two scores for short films, one of which was scrapped and will never see the light of day because of…other circumstances i am not a liberty to discuss.

writing for those two films was extremely hard, and a lot different than i expected. the first short was about a business man who becomes trapped in a malfunctioning elevator with a baby, and has to care for it till they are rescued. Hilarity ensues, i assure you. I began writing in a way most people found kind of odd, but it made perfect sense to me. I set up my computer and keyboard on a table outside the room where everything was being filmed. (On a side note, they couldn’t film inside an actual elevator due to space issues camera related things, so one was built with fly-away walls specifically for the film. pretty neat!) As the filming went on, i would poke my head in, and see how things were being done, and how the actor was interacting with the baby, and then write music that seemed to fit. What resulted was a very fun, light, and very “nursery rhyme” inspired electronic soundtrack that blended into the background of the film, and helped fill in some empty, sometimes awkward space. The second film (which was scrapped because of poor production quality) was a story of an aging superhero, and his fight against his arch-nemesis, and against a new enemy, and also convincing his now middle-aged “kid side kick” to takeover as successor. So as you can imagine the music was full of lots of big, epic superhero songs, mixed in with my signature electronic touch.

The newest challenge i have been asked to score is a film is something completely different from either film. All I know right now is that it is going to be a High School Muiscal like film…just…without the Musical part. Im excited if indeed it does go into production.

Other days i just feel old and grumpy and cynical. Like nothing is going to change, nothing is new, and life is just boring.

Today i feel like the former, and i know its because of the sense of adventure that is coming later this afternoon and evening. Something about how im going to be downtown in Chicago today just makes me feel so good. Im so small and insignificant there, and i blend right in, and that is perfectly ok with me, because i dont like standing out for no reason at all. Its also a nice reminder to feel small every once in a while to help put your problems into perspective. Like yes, i am struggling with some hard things, but things could be worse. i could be friendless and homeless living on the streets dying and freezing alone. how terrible would that be? i can’t even go a day without having some sort of (meaningful)  human interaction! i know this isn’t a long post or anything, but i hope whoever reads this would maybe feel how small they really are for a minute, and put their problems and life into perspective. And then remember that yes, we are small and just one of billions of people and problems, BUT G-d (there is always a but) loves you, and not only does He know you exist down here on this spinning ball of dirt, but He knows your name, He knows your thoughts, your worries, your every need and desire, your problems, and the number of hairs on your head. and yes, He made note of the one that just fell from your head to stick to your shirt on the back of your shoulder where you won’t even know its there….the point is, we’re small, but we still matter. and that just inspires me to be more childlike, and just know that everything is somehow going to be taken care of.

It is a very very strange feeling to know that someone loves me so much, they are eating and drinking two foods they used to abhor. Especially when those two things are Cheetos and Coffee. As separate items, they are enjoyable to me, but together? YUCK.

She has such a devotion to me, and its amazing. I know we love each other, but its an odd thing really. Here i am, almost a full 2 years after the great war, and i feel normal, and like my life is in a much better place than it ever was in my past relationship.

because it is.

I ache for her, deep inside my bones. I ache and yearn for her like i yearn for music. Music is something i can NOT live without. There just has to be music, or whatever situation i’m in feels empty and pointless. and she has become music to me.This summer has been a roller coaster of emotions and situations. nothing i really planned on happening happened, and everything i hoped wouldnt happen did, but in spite of that im really thankful for how God has worked through all of this. My relationship with Red has grown deeper, and we’ve learned a lot about each other through being apart. Im someone who likes to either be one step ahead, or just relaxed and flowing with the moment, and taking things as they come. She is a planner, and lives in the moment. this is just one of the examples of how perfectly we balance each other out. She is very passionate and prone to anger. i am (mostly) chill, and tend to sit and wait before reacting. I havent always been this way, and my close, old friends and family can attest to that. i used to be angry, and violent, and shifting every second. like a storm that was mean and unpredictable. i’ve realized very recently that my home life was a big influence of that.

This realization came after moving back home from Grand Rapids after trying to stay in Michigan for the summer. The environment in my home is not healthy, and very hostile and brooding. This old way has crept back up in me recently, and its very obviously from being ‘trapped’ at home. I dont own my own car, and must borrow a parents vehicle to be able to go anywhere, and so as a result, if they dont approve, i dont go anywhere. Ive spent many weeks back home not leaving the house for days on end, and the only escape i have is church, and playing guitar there. I havent done that in a month, and this weekend, labor day weekend is the first time i’ve been asked to play since the middle of July. A full month of not having a weekend escape. Ive found other was to escape of course, taking a few trips to michigan, and locking myself in the basement in my office working on projects, most of which i hope will see the light of day sooner rather than later. No promises though, because we all know how terrible my track record is with that.

moving away to college was the most healing and rejuvinating thing i have done in my life. I made a lot of mistakes with my school work, but the life lessons, friends and change i have experienced have made me into a person I am ok to live with. I’ve never had a postive view of myself, from my personality, to my looks, and college has completely turned that around.

ive been looking for some type of job since December of 2010, and finally was blessed to get two calls days after each other for two different jobs. One is a bakery job at the local Sam’s club, which requires i get up at 4am to go to work, and the second is at Portillo’s (italian fast foot restaurant in the Chicago-land area), and closing there. Im working long hours and getting very little sleep, but I know this is something that needs to be done for me to make it to Seattle in January. Once again i began to freak out and think that God wasnt going to come through, and i was going to have to change my plans and be stuck here even more, He comes through with two jobs so that i can bust my butt for 3 solid months, and be able to go to Seattle.

Things are slowly coming together. ever. so. slowly. and its building Cathedrals In My Heart.

i wont let this be said of me and seattle.

end of story